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Latest Surrogacy News
OUR 500TH SURROGATE
Baby's birth marks
milestone for Cots
Aug 14 2004 By
Justine Smith And Richard Smith
Mirror.co.uk
AS she watched the proud
parents fall in love with the tiny baby boy she had just
borne for them, Dawn Waters knew it had all been worth
it.
The moment he arrived in
the world he was their son and she was ready to let him
go.
Just a year ago Dorota
Urbaniak and husband Tom had been strangers to her.
Now she had given them the
greatest gift of new life.
Soon, little Marcus - the
500th baby born to a surrogate with help from pioneering
organisation Cots - would be strapped safely into the
Urbaniaks' car and driven to their home 150 miles away.
And Dawn would go back to
her own two children, Becky, nine, and Alex, two, and
husband Bryan, 30.
Dawn, 30, said: "Words
cannot describe how it felt to watch them gazing in
wonder at their baby and each other, knowing I had given
them that happiness. I hadn't just made them happy for a
minute or a day, but for their whole lives.
"When I suggested it to
Bryan, he said 'no way'. But two days later he turned to
me in bed and said 'You really want this, don't you?
Let's look into it'. He and everyone else has supported
me throughout. It had all been worth it. It was the most
incredible, intense, emotional moment for all of us in
that hospital room.
"Some people think of
surrogacy as selling babies. I didn't make a penny, just
expenses. The reward was giving them the joy my children
brought me."
Marcus was conceived in
Dawn and Bryan's home near Telford, Shropshire, using a
syringe to inseminate Dawn with Tom's sperm.
For Dorota and Tom, from
Kingston, Surrey, his birth on Tuesday was nothing short
of a miracle.
They had been through
seven desperate years of disappointment, three failed
IVF attempts and more than a dozen unsuccessful attempts
with two other potential surrogate mums, one of which
ended in a miscarriage.
Dorota, a 43-year-old GP,
was in the maternity suite throughout the seven-hour
labour. Barely able to take her eyes off Marcus as he
slept in her arms, she said yesterday: "I cannot
describe how it felt to watch Dawn go through that agony
and know she was doing it for us.
"Afterwards, I said 'thank
you' and she said 'you're welcome'. I felt so frustrated
that there were no words to express just how grateful
and privileged I felt."
It was agreed Tom, 43,
would wait outside during the birth but Bryan suggested
he come in to cut the cord.
The couples were
introduced through Cots, set up 20 years ago by the
first commercial surrogate mother Kim Cotton, who had a
baby for an American couple, and the first British
mother to pay for a surrogate birth, Gina Dodds.
Their cases stirred up a
"babies for sale" storm, prompting a heated debate over
whether surrogacy should be made illegal. Instead, new
laws restricted the sum payable to £10,000 for expenses.
Two decades and 500 babies
later, the issue still whips up controversy, largely
thanks to a tiny minority - fewer than one per cent of
Cots surrogate mothers - who refuse to hand over the
babies. But Dorota - made infertile through ovarian
surgery in her 20s - says without Cots she would be
childless.
She said: "I was utterly
devastated when I found out I would probably never be
able to conceive naturally.
"Tom and I started trying
for a baby when we were married seven years ago but
nothing happened. We had not considered surrogacy until
we watched a TV programme on Cots in 2000."
Cots provides advice,
counselling, mediation and help with issues such as
levels of contact after the birth.
Dorota said: "We met lots
of couples who had been through it and realised they
were all normal people like us."
Dawn fell pregnant on the
first attempt and from day one she thought of the child
as Dorota and Tom's.
She said: "When he was
born I felt like I was giving him back to them. I loved
my first two pregnancies and wanted to go through it
again but didn't want another child. So this was
perfect."
The couples have become
friends and have agreed to meet up occasionally, the
first time at a party being held next month by Cots to
celebrate the milestone of their 500th baby, where
Marcus will be guest of honour.
Dawn said: "I want the
best for him and for them, but I have my own family to
look after and that's what I live for."
- Cots can be contacted on
0844 4140001.
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